My article in the Times of Oman

A bit of freedom I too seek as a woman

Sangeeta Bejoy June 03, 2012

Email the story   Print the story  RSS feed   Freedom is a beautiful word. And it's meant to be equal for all, both men and women. So why should it bother me so much when I am out waiting for a taxi, and cars honk (or course, the non-taxi ones, I mean), and soon enough there is a whole band honking away to the national anthem of Goober country. And then it's major league binge honking time, so much so that some cars are honking because the 'initial honkers- have brought the traffic to a standstill. But then the pretty-little-liars part of me feels very good about all this on-road attention and I take it as a compliment. I know how hard those poor drivers have worked to get their licenses. They sure deserve a pat on the back, I say, cause they are all masters of multi-tasking, capable of driving their cars, texting their chums, drinking coke -” honking all the while, keeping one eye on the coke can and the other on anyone on the sidewalk who might need their help. Halleluiah! But wait a second, they cannot see my face or my hands or my feet, cause thanks to the shiny sun, I have covered myself well enough for people to call me a hooded-bandit with a bright blue umbrella. But you can still see I am a woman, though not fair skinned to be from the West, so I must be Asian or something. I must be working in a household or something. I must be here to make some money so that I can send my children, back in my home country, to school or take care of my sick, old parents or pay-off a loan shark or something. I must be in need, so saving a few baisas on the taxi must sound very appealing to me. So appealing that I must be ready to talk to any man who stops his car, or worst still, drives it around, back and forth to get my attention and have me bend my will and get into his car, sit in the front seat and gossip away with the poor soul who is in search of "true love-. Helping human kind is such a noble deed in today's inward-looking world, I truly believe. When I bring this up with my friends, they say "Oh just get over it, men will be men, boys will be boys-. Sound interesting. And what about the cat-calls and the incessant hooting and shouting aimed at making your head turn around and throw them a glance? All that is just fine too, I am told. One of my male friends says "If it bothers you so much, give a call to the ROP. Tell them that these guys are causing you trouble-. That seems like a good option. It's an extreme option I think. As a woman I really want to know if anything can be done, before I call the police. Maybe I should just walk over to these funny guys and discuss good public conduct. Really? The truth is, I am not physically or mentally tortured by this kind of behaviour, irritated yes, angry maybe. I think that any society that provides security, insulation from such raucousness and generally, peace of mind only to a privileged few is heading in a dangerous direction. Whether its expatriates or otherwise, each is a fragment of the same society. We may not move in the same social circles or dine at the same restaurants or wear the same kind of clothes. But we do walk the same roads, have similar relationships within our families and generally react the same way to certain situations, like eve-teasing or harassing women. These things are not acceptable anywhere in the world, and the same goes here. Freedom is indeed a beautiful word, can I ask to be free from such silly and irritating behaviour, can I ask to be free to walk on the road without being taken for an "easy target-, can I ask to be free from those special offers of help when I carry my weekly grocery along the sidewalk, actually, can I ask to be free to just have some peace of mind?